I woke up in that solitude of a dream wondering what capacity enabled me to follow you the way I did. My loneliness garnered me some truth, none that remained in the unfamiliar realm of my unrecognizable self. I trusted something, but couldn't see the forest for the trees. I sought love in the form of admiration. You're gone now.
I cannot escape into my dreams as I often did as a child, whitewashing away the pain until even myself was unrecognizable. You were my first love. The first time I ever even dared to step out away from being afraid of the pain. I knew I couldn't trust you. To take a love from another living being and give it to another, to make promises in some design. Your a cyclical lover, do you know that?
I couldn't love you because my world was falling apart. I had to save my own life. I know I left you there standing alone. Dwelling, on false hope. For that I am sorry. Now you have whitewashed my face and traded it for another. Cyclical.
The utterance of the words needed to be said will never reach there destination. Communication was never much your forte in this dance.
No one knows this except me. This my experience, as I experience it alone.
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